Introduction

Hello there, this is supposed to be a simple timeline—some small details as to what has gone on in my small circle of life since the first Beckett was put onto Amazon. Not a deep biography or memoir—just some simple answers to questions like:

• Why did it take so long for a website?

• How is the TBI?

• Has anyone read the books besides family?

• Do you have an agent?

• What happened to the dog?

• Is there more to the story?

• Why are the covers the same?

• Did you get permission from the Navy to write this?

Answer a few questions you might be pondering and conclude with where I think I am going. That, of course, depends on where God’s path is taking me, and where my Darlin’ Wifey believes He is guiding us as well. Along with what I can do/handle with what I have been through.

Soooooooo shall we? …😉

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Writing and Publishing the Books

After my TBI it took a while, but things in general did go back to normal.  I went back to contracting, made my client’s projects come out well.  I did my physical therapy, and I didn’t seem to need any ‘mental therapy’.  And started writing everything about what I could remember.

 

In 2018 at some point, Ford and I realized the pages we were stacking were getting too tall for a single book, and we decided to split it into two books.  The split was clear as to where, when Beckett had no choice but to assume command of what was to be a routine patrol when its command was lost. 

 

For Book #2 we had a lot of stories that just needed polishing, and a few more stories that would ideally show more of the people in his life, while telling the stories people had given us to share in the books.

 

I found some lectures on self-publishing, met a wonderful tattoo artist for the cover, Gladys learned how to publish on Amazon, and Book #1 went onto the World Wide Web.  ‘Beckett’ was, and still is a little labor of love, not an attempt to make a book list, the hunger issue or explain Traumatic Brain Injuries and what that is like.  (I never intended it to be that, but I shall work on adding more of that now that I have had some time to learn more about it.)

 

Ford and I continued our ‘day jobs’ while meeting for lunches, late night emails, texts and calls, for Book #2.  I also had to find an artist, our book cover artist had a big change in her life and moved onto a new journey. 

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Health Challenges and Life Changes

At the same time, Gladys and I had a few bumps in our family lives, changes and additions.  Then while heading home from job sites, I was accosted twice, once for money the other for my watch…both ended in my favor.  Internally something was wrong with me, I had no idea, and I couldn’t tell that as time went by I was changing,

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All of this led us to a big change, so we listed and sold the home that had been Gladys’ home for the last 20 years.  It sold, and we found a wonderful neighborhood, in a quaint little ‘city’, with a fine house with lots of potential to create a warm home.  It has provided a strong foundation for us to grow within ourselves and together as spouses, finding us incredibly happy, and ready to start the next chapter in our life. 

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I finished my clients work and ‘semi-retired’, so I could just focus on our home, writing and my Wifey. 

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While remodeling our home, I missed some mistakes that were contracted out, things I would not have missed in the past.  I didn’t think I was having issues with short term memory or cognitive skills, ‘it was just a mistake’.  I started leaving the house less because deliveries being made and wanting to make sure the work was being completed appropriately.  At times I thought I felt some dizzy spells, dehydrated or just exhausted…. Thankfully if I had a seizure it hadn’t been big, and I hadn’t gotten hurt, the down side if I had a seizure I was completely unaware and it had not happen in front of anyone, yet.

 

I know at least once I couldn’t find my way home, and GPS did not help, so it was all confusing.  Gladys wasn’t working from home yet, and thankfully she wasn’t in a meeting so she could guide me home.  At the time I had our new address on a Post-It note next to the front door for weeks because I didn’t or couldn’t memorize it. 

 

At this time our tattoo artist had a change in her life, moved and vanished into the wind, she had done  an amazing job for the Book #1, with just the initial consultation.  A sincere thank you  Meme😊.

 

Amanda, Gladys’s little brother Bryan’s wife, has a graphics design background, so she flipped the original book cover and added Beckett’s wife and children.  I made Gladys the editor, as she really guided and put it all together to get it Amazon.  At this point I was ‘just there’.  I was not in tune and was more in pain from my legs and joints.  Where I thought I was happy, was my list for the house (like the pool and solar and small stuff) was done for now and this part of ‘Beckett’ was done too.  Still something was off, in me, as Gladys says I was off in a dark spot, alone, and I was not aware of this at all.

 

At this point I had no idea what a seizure really was like, and I ‘hadn’t’ experienced one.  One day all this changed, I went to get up from the couch and slipped and fell onto and broke the coffee table.  I do know that is what I told the EMTs, and was in my mind for quite some time.  Some time I’ll have Gladys update this with her version and what really happened…..we have never owned a coffee table.

 

In the end it was not pretty and after the ER, I woke up in an ICU room.

 

I am told, I was secured because of not exactly being ‘myself’.  And when I did get back to myself, I had no idea why I was there and what was wrong.  I do know of only one visitor, and she was there so Gladys could go home to rest.  Thank you Karina 🙏.  To anyone else that visited or called, it’s all blank.  If you say you did, thanks, just don’t think anything I said, did or signed up for counts, it’s all questionable.

 

Gladys was the ROCK, and held it all together.  She made sure those who needed to know what was going on did, everyone else could wait until I was better.  Eventually I was ok, and I even was given back my phone back.  But I didn’t know who to call or what to say.

 

Thankfully I didn’t get too many calls.  I did get several regarding my books and did my best to answer the questions.  I’m sure some were done fine and some did not go fine.  I did get an excited call from an art dealer, I’ve known her for years, Emily, with a client who wanted to buy one of my pieces.  When she paused for a moment, I told here where I was, she froze and said “Call me back.”

 

When Gladys came to visit me one night after work, lovingly still very concerned about me, and that I had yet to comprehend what was wrong.  She asked about my day, I told her bits and pieces, some of the calls from strangers, which from what I could tell her made no sense to her as well.  It still wasn’t clear to me, so gave her my phone, and she agreed, I shouldn’t take calls from strangers in my condition, especially without knowing truly who they are and what their intentions were.

 

Gladys asked if I would talk to someone about my place in life, and if I was needing help and to discuss my seizures and ‘drinking’.  I told her I was fine with that, I did not believe I was an addict or had a problem.  I also told her I never thought bad about counseling, and that I thought it helps to discuss life and concerns with someone skilled and qualified.

 

Eventually I was checked out and sent home.  At a follow up meeting with Dr. G, he informed me he wanted changes to my diet, more activity, prescribed anti-seizure medication and set up a neurologist referral to start and find out if my TBI injury was tied to loosing feeling in my legs and coordination.  He also wanted me to cut back on my Coors Light intake.  I stated how I drank it because I like it, not because I needed to.

 

I thought “I have a good career, happy clients, I finished the two books.  Got good feedback.  And I know a lot of people who drink far more than I do, so what do I have to worry about?”  I decided I would contemplate Dr. G’s concern on my own time, at my own pace.

 

I was introduced to Chris, who would become an important part in me coming to the understanding of my life and the challenges in it.  Along with helping me to mend it and truly understand all that I had been through, and there would be more.  A wise and seasoned man Chris is, who has been through similar situations as me, overcame them and continues to help people on their Path to do the same.

 

Covid lockdown started in March of 2020, Gladys’s office decided it was safer and could be as productive if as much of the staff as possible worked remotely.  We set up her office and I continued to try and find my way.  I continued working with the neurologist, and a few other doctors, and was enrolled into a study at USC.

 

By the fall of 2020 I had not driven in weeks, I didn’t need too, I could walk to anything I needed, even Home Depot.  One sunny day when she had a big meeting at the main office, I decided I was doing much better, and I would impress Gladys by loading the truck with a donation delivery to Goodwill. 

 

Once loaded, it was terrifying to drive through our neighborhood, and even more on the busy four lanes  of Whittier Boulevard.  I could barely feel my boot covering my feet and barely made it into the store parking lot without hitting anything.  I did check before backing up, but couldn’t stop and crashed into the glass store front, then I couldn’t get my foot out from the accelerator when I went to go forward, even shoving my left foot onto the brake didn’t help, it merely pushed the right down the accelerator as well.

God kept the lane clear and the only thing stopping me from the speeding lanes of Whittier Boulevard was the last two parked cars in the distant corner, they were vacant, so I ploughed right into them.

 

Thankfully I had previously met the lead responding officer, a coworker to our neighbor and friend Jason, so he believed me when I said I wasn’t on drugs, and hadn’t had alcohol in weeks. I told Gladys I was fine and I could handle the ER alone.  I don’t know if it was the accident, the condition my body was in from months of near hibernation, or the medication I was on, but I could barely stand during the chest x-rays.

The doctors think I had a mild seizer or a panic attack from the combination of driving alone on a busy main street.  In the end the truck was totaled, and I still don’t drive, but some day that may change.

 

At some point after the accident, I quit the ‘time out’ I had elected to participate in, and decided to ‘enjoy’ ice cold beer.  (I don’t know if I realized at the time I was quitting the ‘time out’ or just forgot I was on ‘time out’)  My councilor Chris, stayed with me, he didn’t walk out, he didn’t threaten me that I was killing myself.  He just kept meeting with me, and we talked about my history, all I’ve been through and my plans for life.  To me I had enough things to figure out about myself and to find my way back to God with some peace with life.  So being on a ‘time out’, and not having a cold Coors just didn’t seem like a concern of mine, or a lack of having one was needed, in my world.

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A Wake up Call

At the end of June of 2021, Dr. G informed me of his concern, that I did not understand the severity of his evaluation.  He told me between his twenty years of experience and the ‘Childs Test’, I had approximately three to six months before my liver would give out from cirrhosis.  Which again, I just didn’t understand ‘Why?’ and who is this Childs guy?

 

Several days later, I don’t know why but July 18, 2021 I just decided that morning I would rather spend time with my Wifey, without having beer on the menu, then the ‘possibility’ of not having to many more days with her.  Even if the ‘Child’s Test’ was wrong, I decided I would choose whatever time I could get with her over more cold beer, even choice ones.

 

Apparently that was the right day, because I told her “I decided this was my last one.  I’ll go with you and Dr. G’s opinion.”  It wasn’t ceremonious, or moving, I don’t recall us talking about it.  I said what I said and went about my morning.  I dropped the Coors into the recycle bin, and less than an hour I collapsed from a large seizure mid-sentence before Gladys.

 

This was not an adventure I wanted in life.  I had a short stay at ER and ICU at our local hospital, when I really ‘woke up’ was in a Skilled Nursing facility 

 

It seemed more like it was a hospital jail or a sanitarium, and I did not want to be there.  The trouble was as I learned how ‘bad’ a shape I was in, it was clear I needed to be there, but it was not a ‘resort spa’.  Between the rules, meds, shots, daily blood work, Covid swabs, assessments or evaluations, physical therapy with the rules and my limits involved; it was all further exhausting.

 

Apparently I did have moments of difficulty, , I wasn’t exactly ‘trying to get out’, I just didn’t want to be there.🤔 And the doctors there agreed with Dr. G., my liver now had cirrhosis, and I was at the edge of dying.

 

On top of all that, Covid was running ramped again so visitors were very restricted, Gladys even had limited time which was changing often.  The only other that was allowed in with slightly easier admittance was one of the Pastors from our church.  At the time I had no idea who he was, just a Pastor who wanted to talk with me.  I still do not recall what we talked about at all, we have never spoken of his visit.

 

My time there was basically a long moment of ‘reflection’, as I learned a bit about the other patience’s around me, tried to make do with the lack of abilities physically I had regressed to and bouts of unconsciousness.

 

What I put Gladys through, she didn’t start to let me know until two years later, so she didn’t have to re-live it by telling it to me.  She only spilled it out, in pieces, over months when she was ready, and when she felt comfortable and very blessed we made it out together.  I thank God every day He gave her the strength and love to not call it quits, and for her to tell me how she found her strength.

 

I do know, again it was by God’s grace and Gladys’s love, I am still alive. I went in at 170lbs and left under 120lbs. 

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Family Challenges, Health Battles, and Finding Strength

September of 2021 my brother Josh and his family came back from a trip to Hawaii, his wife and he dropped their kids of at home and went to Minnesota to visit her family and look at possible homes to finally fulfill a long term goal, which was to get out of California to live close to more family.  On the trip my brother thought he was ill, went to the hospital to get checked out, a lot of tests and suddenly he was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer.  Thankfully his wife was able to sell their home, pack up their kids, everything else, find a new house, all while facing the sudden terminal existence of her spouse.

 

 

The day before Thanksgiving we poured 30 yards of concrete, some in our front yard and the back patio, the demo and finishers knew something was different with me, I wasn’t the usual Boss.  I did what I could do to help the pour, but it wasn’t much, and it showed.  The guys held their own and then some.👍🫡👍

 

Dr G. approved me to fly, and three days later we were in Puerto Vallarta, and for the first time in years our ‘extended family’, would see me.  Gladys had warned them she wasn’t sure if I would be able to go or make it at all.  This did make for a very warm and loving vacation, with a big sigh of relief I was going to be OK.

 

In the fall of 2021 I finally had it with my hepatologist specialist and requested a new one.  To me I was just another number on his list, he didn’t really explain why his ‘findings’ and why my liver was ‘broken’.  This day Gladys had to drive us in the pouring rain for my six month check up with him.  We waited 45 minutes in the lobby and another 45 minutes or so in the exam room, when he came in it sure seemed like he was in a rush.

 

When it seemed like he was done, he asked “Your numbers look great.  So, see you in six months.  Any questions?”  I politely told him what I thought of the insisting that we come in by his staff, the drive, the fact that it was a half day round trip for a 15 minute talk that could have been on a Med-zoom call.  He looked aggravated.  I told him, “As a contractor if I told you your kitchen was going to cost $85,000, then you told your wife.  But she asked ‘why?’, and you asked me ‘why?’  All I said was: ‘Because I said so.’ 

“Now wouldn’t your wife think less of you because you had no answers for her??”  I think he got the point because he looked even more aggravated.  That was the last time we saw him, I requested a new specialist.

 

January 2022, with some guidance the Big Man upstairs, I the next step on my Path was to become ‘Ordained’, not as a preacher, pastor, looking to lead a flock to the salvation with God.  In the most recent of years I had found my way to a deeper relationship with God.  I found it is more genuine in passing along God’s words to people trying to find their Path with the lord, if it was coming from someone who was ordained.  I definitely do not see of myself as a biblical scholar, nor a religious leader or preacher.  Just as another man, trying to help someone along their Path with God.

 

February 2022 was the first time I met with Dr. K, she has been a Godsend!!  Kind and reassuring, telling us how her job is not only to care for her patients future, but to make sure they understood everything she was informing them about their health.  It was like a burden that I didn’t understand was being taken off, and I was in good hands.  Not only a top tier liver specialist, she is the transplant specialist at USC.

She affirmed Dr G.’s view of how my liver had decided ‘no more alcohol’, and that the only way for me to live was to continue to keep alcohol out of my diet.  Which was fine to me.

I told her, “I don’t have any need to drink Dr K.  If not ever having another ice cold beer gives me 2 months, 2 year or 2 decades with Gladys…that’s worth giving it up.  It’s not a challenge to me.”

 

In March of 2022 God we faced another big challenge, this time it didn’t fall on me, Gladys was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  She didn’t collapse and wither, she stood strong and expressed beauty and love while handling it with the grace of God.  Her Fight was challenging, but she won, it wasn’t hereditary, nor had it spread.  It was a small mass, so she only needed radiation and was done in 30 treatments over a few months.  💪🎀  She is still in remission with no signs of problems.🙏💪 I love you so much my Sweetie Pie, you complete me🫶

 

By August 2022 I was enrolled in a study at USC, for the All of Us program that would watch my vitals and run all sorts of DNA and genetic tests, hereditary tests, evaluations of how I am treated and family history and a lot more.  They even gave me a top notch Fitbit to wear and when it broke I had another one in less than a week to keep track of my data.

My over all ‘numbers’ were doing incredibly good so at our meeting Dr. K informed me that she was putting me on the donor list, and they were going to fast track me getting a new liver because my numbers were so promising.  I was a bit shocked….my liver was going to be replaced, while I was doing everything I could to follow their dietary conditions and had completely quit drinking.  So why is it my liver that decided to quit?

She basically said sometimes time changes things, the human body has a lot of mysteries we still don’t understand, why yours decided to no longer process alcohol.

 

On Jan 7th, 2022 what was supposed to be a regular ‘procedure’ in my GI track, where it is both delicate and near bunch of other delicate organs, that Dr. P is one of the few highly skilled surgeons specific for this, a suture didn’t take as perfect as it should have.  The next morning I collapsed, I was bleeding out inside.

I had to sign off on an IV into my neck because they couldn’t find a vein, a core heater because my body temperature was crashing, a bunch of IVs and blood transfusions until I was ‘safe’ because the shortage due to covid was so bad if I could ‘live’ then I had enough blood.

Gladys couldn’t go into the hospital, again, so she slept in the Jeep, again not knowing if I was going to be ok or if me being loaded into the ambulance was the last time she would see me, my cargo shorts and sneakers covered in blood.

The ER staff took care of what they could and then left me until a room opened up.  Because it was only curtains separating, I don’t know how many beds occupied by people in serious medical problems, I could hear all kinds of things going on.  They didn’t tell me much, and it didn’t sound positive, so as clear as day I started my conversation to God, silently.  I never had a problem with my ‘mortality’, I’m not saying I think I am immortal, or better than ‘death’ or anyone else.  I have always tried to be grateful for being alive, and tried to express that, and know that my time will end at some point, and that is ok.  The life I truly have, my soul won’t end, as it is with God, so there is no need to worry.  It may sound simple, or silly, but it is a view which has helped me not ‘feel’ other emotions that are not pleasant, and parts of my life or moments which were not pleasant.

Amongst a lot of other things, I mainly thought of Gladys and my love of everything around US together and her, and ‘what a bummer that I didn’t get to say goodbye?’, then again all the good thoughts of US, and God, and Tim McGraw’s song ‘Already Home’, not because of the soldier part, but the harmony and peace that he accepted, when it is his time to go Home.

I did get to hear a “CODE BLUE” shouted out for another patient, and staff running to that person.  Eventually a room opened up for me.  Almost 30 hours later, I was prepped for surgery and when I was about to be put under amongst the normal questions, the anesthesiologist specifically ask me about the big scar on my skull from my TBI surgery.  I gave him the 30 second version, and was sure to say “I believe God said not today son, you’ve got work to do.  And that’s why I lived.”  With out missing a beat he responded “Well whatever God you pray to, you should keep doing that.”  And he knocked me out.

To be sure everything went perfect, so I stayed for 3 days, my nurse Julia never had a patient that had a neck IV, she asked to take a photo, Gladys and I were grateful for all her support and care.

Sadly, before I left, I listened to the last rights being given by a I assumed by the sound of it, a Catholic Priest, across the hall to another patient.  Once the priest was done, he spoke calmly about how he can be called at any hour for prayer or to talk.  A gentleman said thankyou and hoped ‘Angie’ would let go soon, and be done with the pain.  Julia had told me later that day it was his wife and they were both elderly, she was passing from cancer. 

 

December 2022 we were given an appropriate gift for Christmas, Dr. K and the Department Head of transfers, informed me my ‘numbers’ were stable and better than ever expected and it was decided to remove me from the transfer list to save the spot for someone who very much needed a new liver.  Gladys and I thanked God and her graciously.🙏

 

January 2023, USC launched a new 3 year intense study into cirrhosis of the liver was started, and the search for volunteers was started.  The goal was to learn all they could with generous volunteers that consented to regular meetings, samples tests and scans.  And provide their open medical history, updates of any changes and all medical procedures outside of the study, so the study could follow their continuing history as much as possible. (this is my basic/non-doctor understanding of the study)

 

March 2023 I was the 3rd person asked to be a part of the study, and Dr K. explaining it in full detail to me and Gladys.  I basically said “You folks at USC saved my life with my brain injury and have been basically keeping me alive with any of my challenges since then, so sign me up.  Whatever I can do to help you folks out, to help and give back to you I’m more than happy to oblige.”  With that I signed the stack of forms, with a time stamp on each one, and I became a part of it.  I knew I was giving access to all my medical history, past and future.  As perhaps if I am in an accident, they would like not only the records but results of any blood work to help monitor any sudden changes.  I did not think was going to be a FULL day of all kinds of samples and tests, at first Gladys was hesitant more because of how long it was taking, and how much it seemed ‘invasive’ to my health history.  But more and more it became clear how grateful everyone involved was for my participation to Gladys, and she felt it was to become a welcome part of my and our life.

 

Currently the study has advanced to natation wide, with hospitals/doctors having to first apply to the study to become approved to partake in it.  Then they are able to refer their own patients for review, to possibly be approved to become part of the study.  It is also applying for new grants to continue its course for another 5 years.

 

June 2023 Josh flew from Minnesota to Massachusetts to celebrate his 49th Birthday with friends and family.  He was able to spend quality time with our Father and our 100 year old Grandmother as well.  He made a near trip around the Cape to get a sample of many of the foods we grew up with.  Gladys and I were able to attend and visit with everyone as well.

 

Later that year as Josh’s strength was dwindling Gladys and I flew to him, to visit and help out, see the kids and all the work he had done to the home.  In a good way, we had to schedule out time, so all of the family and friends that were going to him to help be there for him wouldn’t overlap and Josh got to spend time with everyone separately as he continued his Fight, not alone.   

 

Our father and Gladys made an additional lasting bond with Josh as they too were in their own Fight as well and made time to visit alone with him.

 

For Thanksgiving 2023 we again went to PV, to see our ‘extended family’ and to take a pause all of the challenges which we had been facing, overcoming and then having another step up to us again.  It was a needed moment of peace.  It was again a moment of reflection of how much everyone had been through the last few years.  While we were discussing what it was like for me when I got out of the Skilled Nursing facility, Karen gave me a big hug with a teary eye and told me, “Jonnie, I’m sorry, but that year you really did look like death warmed over.  I’m so sorry.  How they let you travel was a miracle.”  Again, I felt great full for God and Gladys.

 

By December of 2023, Josh had dwindled from a strong and sturdy 200 pounds to 150, his doctor said it was only days before his body gave out, so he approved for our mom to fly with him from Minnesota to Florida.  There he could pass privately, comforted with loved ones, without his children having to see it and leaving them while he still looked like himself.  The bond between his father and he had grown stronger, and once he found out where Josh was going, he flew to Florida to be at his side.

 

Gladys and I went to Florida too, she still worked remote, I wasn’t ready to take on clients as a General Contractor, or to drive again.  There was only one place for us to be, it was by Josh to say goodbye.

From then on all of us took turns at Josh’s side so he always had at least one with him, every moment of his last days.  Gentle talk, simple stories about Josh growing up, him and his kids, some of his adventures.  It brought smiles or laughter, and quiet comfort.  The only thing on the tv was whatever would give him a laugh or some jovial chatter.

 

Through the treatments and trials, the highs and lows Josh was able to catch up with the close friends he had made over his 49 years.  They made time to reach out, some even traveled to him, or to meet with him anywhere they could for a NFL game with the New England Patriots.

 

He had stayed close to his children, attended teacher/parent meetings, games and activities.  He remodeled the kitchen and portions of the house and cared for the two dogs.  He Face timed with his son and daughter, one last time the night before his body exhausted, he was alive but silent.  He passed mornings later.

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Launching the Website and Sharing the Story

March 14,2024 Gladys created the website for “Oswell Design Build”  and for “The Book of Beckett”. At first she was very hesitant as it was not something she had ever done.  She did some research and looked up some tutorials and she was able to create it with the most important and most recent information.  She told me, we don’t have to have it be perfect, we can add as we go and we can share new things as we go along. The page will always be a work in progress.  She reminded me progress not perfection.

 

April 2024 we were going to attend the USC / LA Times book festival to ‘launch’ the website and start to celebrate the book and start to make it ‘public’.  We had put off really promoting the books, due to all the changes in our lives and having to focus our time in more ‘serious’ events.  This was always a “Thank you” to all that had helped me survive, but due to its reception from friends and family we figured we would give it a try at the USC / LA Times event.  Due to the October 7th attack by Hamas, and the protests which were going on at USC and UCLA and schools across the country, we contemplated about the event.  We decided to pass, and on the event day we watched as it barely make the local news, which was stunning because it usually has great coverage as a local major event, even the news opted out.  While watching it, I got a great call from a dear friend and neighbor, which gave us a new way to launch the books.

 

May, 11, 2024 we did our first Pop Up Event to promote the books, if you are unfamiliar with them, they are kind of like the merchandise section of a small traveling Carnival. (You can see the photos in the ‘Events’ section of the website)  Our neighbor’s daughter was having a fund raiser for their high school band uniforms, so we joined the pop up event and were able to share about the book and my TBI, we sold 7 books, two of them with 1&2.  There was over 60 vendors, and it was a great success, we decided we would try to do a few of the a year. We really enjoyed it and felt we where on the right path.  I met in person my first TBI Survivor, a wonderful man, surviving after 30 years, married with 2 great children.

 

In June of 2024 friends and family came from all over the States to meet up at his sister Jesse’s house to Celebrate Josh’s life, the way he would have liked it.  By telling stories, reminiscing about him, with a BBQ to feed a platoon, beverage overflowing along with his gallons of his step dad’s famous chili.  His sister Kerri, took the hundreds of photos from everyone and made a collage dedicated to him, uploaded to the cloud for all to access, with a song so fitting it had seemed made for him.

 

Gladys and I attended the event, trying to be supportive and involved as much as possible, while assisting with his children who flew in with one of their grandfathers.  At the same time, we were able to celebrate my Gram turning 101 and taking Josh’s children to meet her.  She was thrilled to see them and let them each pick out a painting of hers so they would be able to take home a part of her and have her memory for ever. 

 

To help heal his grieving heart at the loss of Josh, his father could not bear the event and chose to honor his son, his own way.  The family and friends gathered understood and respected his wishes and thanked him for being a part of the creation of Josh’s life, and partaking in it.  And for letting him enter into and make a mark their lives as well.

 

July 17, 2024 we did our second Pop Up Event, a Block Party on our own street with other local small businesses, over 30 of them. Our same neighbor coordinated our block party and again sharing the book and about my TBI, it was very well received, we sold 6 books that day and made some very good friends.   (You can see the photos in the ‘Events’ section of the website)

 

8-28-24 I received the call from my Mom telling me that my grandmother had left us to go Home and be beside God and Gramps.  She had lived 101 wonderful years, expressing love, happiness, wisdom, grace a devotion to family, her beautiful artwork and her unyielding faith in God.  She was like a second mom for me, introducing me to faith, God, art, wisdom and the power of learning.  This was a tremendous loss in the family.  For me, I have 53 years with her, filled with lessons, wisdom, a dotting love and care, alongside of an endless amount of Bible passages and lessons, to help me continue on my Path in life.

 

My father packaged up the last piece of artwork my Grandmother did for me, and had it shipped out to me.  It was of one of her well known pieces, the Outer Most House.  He even sent along the book she had that was about the real outer most house.   Her capturing of the last, now lone house, at the edge of the water on a beautiful beach, showed its simplicity and significance.  That as she would say, with a strong foundation built upon the principals of God, you can overcome all the challenges before you.

 

September 2024 my meeting with Dr K was productive and supportive, and she was again thrilled to report my numbers were continuing to be better and better.  She asked if I ever feel any ‘need’ or ‘desire’ to have another alcoholic beverage.  I laughed and told her “No, I genuinely liked the taste of the beers I drank, not because it helped me start my day or drown my sorrows.  At first I didn’t understand why Dr. G said I would die soon if I hadn’t stopped.  You made it somehow even clearer.”  At the end of our meeting, she asked if I had any other questions….

“I’m not doubting all the knowledge you and Dr. G have…. I know guys who have drank way longer and way more than me.  And I’m not looking for an excuse, so I can drink.  I don’t want to mess up the study.  And I would like to be around longer with Gladys.  I just still don’t understand why my liver broke.”

She paused, “People get cirrhosis from basically one or a mixture of the four groups we can identify.  30% come from fatty foods and too much of them.  30% come from alcohol abuse, from large amounts over a long time period, or excessive amounts too often.  Like binge drinking to the point where the liver just doesn’t have time to recover, before it is bombarded with more alcohol.  30% are hereditary, where it is just in their genetic make-up.  The remaining 10% is the unknown factor.  It is as random as some forms of cancer, it just appears.  You fall mainly in the 10%.  You did drink a fair amount, and your diet wasn’t bad but it could have been better to lessen your odds.  I don’t think you did anything wrong, you just got the bad luck of the draw.  You made changes and continue to do all you can to not advance your cirrhosis. 

“If you do, maybe even one for Super Bowl, or a glass of champagne at New Years Eve, I can’t tell you what even one drink may do to your liver.  It may do nothing, or that one drink may crash your liver because it has spent years without a drop of alcohol and the sudden rush may dramatically confuse it and shut it down entirely.  Which would shut down your organs and kill you in turn.  As far as you drinking again, I suggest you should not, ever.  It is simply too much of a risk.”

I didn’t need to pondered it for a moment, “Got you Doc.  Now I understand clearly, and it’s something I can explain.”

She was glad I understood and told me how she appreciated all I am doing for the study, “It’s rare to have someone so willing to give back, and it’s extremely rare to have someone who nearly died and then wants to do all they can to help and give back.  So, thank you.”

 

Due to my brother’s passing and the amazing caring staff at USC it was decided to run more tests to see if there was anything else from my TBI & ‘odd’ liver body that was NOT as it should be.

December 2024 at the USC Norris Cancer Center, a wonderful lady named Dr. Rebbeca, meet with Gladys and I to discuss tests and cancer as a whole.  Insurance does not always cover the extremely expensive tests, but places like USC / NCC try to make it more affordable with donations and sponsors.  My ‘work’ was fully covered, I think because of me being ‘a rarity’ and willing to give back all I can, the NCC gladly accepted my willingness to be….studied. 🤔😉😁  So they took blood and all else needed.

With all I have been through, I am usually prepared for almost anything, of course I still prayed He might still have time for me to be with my darlin Sweetie Pie.  The phone call I received, gave me a bit of both.

“Well it turns out that you have what is called a CDH1mutation, years ago this would be a 70-80% chance in resulting in an increased chance to develop a particular type of gastric cancer, but with such advancements in science we have been able to narrow your rate down to approximately 10%.” Dr Rebecca informed me.  “Now it is not hereditary, and it is not spreading, nor is it creating a mass.  We will monitor it yearly, possibly every 6 months.”

In short, I have a mutant gene in my stomach, with a 10-1 chance it could spin off a clone(s) which may decide it is 🤬 evil and causes problems, but it shouldn’t mass or spread.  It would just have to be eliminated.  Let’s just hope the ‘mutant’ just hangs around with nothing to do and just passes time, content to be alone.👍

 

Allergy Specialist Rachel, gave me a call with the results from my DNA abnormalities.  Growing up I wasn’t allergic to anything, my mom to some seasonal pollen, later in age my brother absorbed some of our mom’s spring pollen sneezing, my dad can’t use goose down pillows.

But Rachel kindly informed me I had some, certain grasses (we happen to have high end synthetic), some shrubs, not really on the foods.  As a side note, I do believe God has a sense of humor…..he made mosquitos, a ‘painted’ desert, a polar ice cap with birds that waddle in black & white.  And again God showed his humor, when Rachel informed me the last group I am allergic to, trees.

A carpenter finds out half his life later he is allergic to certain trees.🤔😆  I had no idea.  At least, He did not include the most common trees harvested to make general lumber.  Not Pine, Douglas Fir, Red Wood or Birch.  He….. picked Oak, Walnut, Maple, Eucalyptus, and Olive….the tree of peace?  I still deeply love Him, and I do appreciate subtle humor…..  I do say, what would life be without a bit of it?

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Honoring Loved Ones Lost

January, 15, 2025 Gladys’s dear and close older Uncle passed.  He lived a good healthy 89 years, filled with family and a darling wife and wonderful children.  He was the patriarch of the family, and it was due to him that Glady’s parents were able to come to the states and build the life they have today.  It was a hard loss felt throughout the family.  An adored man, showered in gratitude and love by so many in and out of the family.

 

January 19, 2025 first thing in the morning I received a call, and when I looked it and it was my mom, I was sure I knew why.  The last few years my step dad, or ‘Pops’ a nickname Josh gave him and others easily took up, was having health challenges, even though he was still strong and feisty.  This fall after Josh’s passing, Pops started declining, mom’s call was to let me know Pops passed in his sleep.

 

He was a good man to my mom, together they made a marriage based on love and a partnership in life together.  They built, bought, remodeled and sold several homes successfully, while attempting to express be ‘retired’.  Their version of retirement didn’t slow down much, it just split their location between states as they enjoyed life together. 

 

On his own Pops, raised a daughter, Jessica, to become a good compassionate and loving soul, who went off to build a loving home and career.  Eventually she raised 3 darling children, who all became another generation of wonderful adults, her son raising 3 children with a darling wife in another loving home.

 

Pops welcomed my brother and myself into his life lovingly, without expressing difficulty at having to ‘deal with’ two young men in his life, he was kind and gracious.  As a builder he brought Josh into his trade and with time and skill taught Josh to become the carpenter he was, as a thank you for all he done for him Josh used his last name for his son’s middle name.  Though I had left home for college and then off on my own, I was able to learn quite a bit from him and always knew he was there to be a part in my life.

 

A New Chapter: Advocacy and Awareness

March 3-5 2025, is the National Brain Injury Conference and Awareness Day, where TBI survivors along with other key stakeholders including survivors, caregivers, doctors and providers meet in support and to go before members of Congress to gain awareness and their support of the TBI Act and its cause.

I only discovered this large and national group around the beginning of the year.  When I reached out and spoke with one of the directors, once I told him the short version of my story and how this is my 10th year as a Survivor, he quickly asked if I could attend to not only partake in becoming part of the group, but to tell my story to others and go before members of Congress to give my testimony tell my story.

I told him I would talk to my wife about it, and if I had more questions I would call back.  Over the last year we had multiple trips for family, and more coming up for family.  I had never thought about speaking before a group, anyone official or some kind of authority / representative.  So, Gladys and I talked and prayed about it, we don’t have an endless supply of travel funds and she only has so many ‘vacation days’.  We also sat down and shared this with a few close people to us….and it was unanimous, it would be good not only for me to share my story with others, but to meet other survivors and help out in was that myself as a survivor viewed we could be better helped too….well survive.  And everyone thought it would be good for me to help bring some growth or acceptance to my ‘condition / restrictions’, from being injured and surviving.

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It all unfolded, that it was right for us to go.  I suddenly had a ‘sponsor’, who believed I needed to go, and donated their travel points to cover all our housing of our trip.  Gladys found we had saved enough points over our years to cover our flight to DC and back home.  A dear friend volunteered to drive us, no charge, to and from the airport so we wouldn’t have an expensive long term parking fee or Uber charge.  Gladys had racked up enough PTO (paid time off) and with her working remote, her bosses whole heartedly supported her working remote from DC, and being able to still take time to be beside me on this goal to be a part of Day of Awareness.

So now all I needed to do was have Gladys take me out to get some new cloths.  I hadn’t bought anything ‘business casual’, appropriate for this event in a decade.  And I had cleaned out my wardrobe during the move, another of my slip ups during my challenging time….nothing but construction gear and cloths was left in my closet.🤔😆

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Preparing for Washington, DC

So, March 2….. here we are, Gladys and I, flying to Washington, DC.  Gladys has never been, and I have not been since a school trip in the 8th grade, so it will be just about as new for me as her.  She is going to try and be a part of the 2nd and 3rd day, including where I am to meet with different representatives.  We both are looking forward to this learning experience, and still find it so amazing that we are doing this.  I am both excited and nervous to try and ‘represent’ TBI Survivors, to do good for us all.  I’m mostly nervous because I’ve only met one other survivor in person…. so it’s a complete unknown.  How others take it, the doctors and supporters, care takers and spouses…. 🤔😉

 

Stepping into Advocacy: Sharing My Story

I’ll write a big post after its all said and done.  To try and fill anyone in on what it was like.  The Association, the TBI Act all that Gladys and I learned, and some good photos too.  I feel so honored and thrilled to be a part of this group that has been around for 45 years.

 

We will meet with Representatives to help inform them further about Traumatic Brain Injuries, seek further funding and for the TBI Act to be continued…..and to give them my testimony…..

I will tell them my story??....

MY STORY!!!!!

 

I really didn’t think ‘my story’ would matter.  I didn’t know a Traumatic Brain Injury, was such a big deal.  I figured nearly dying, and living, would just affect the rest of one’s life…..not that there was such support.  I thought it was just like braking another part of your body, the Doc stitches you up and you go back out there and hit the ball, make it on base, move on, etc….

 

I didn’t think there were other people out there that shared their story.  Nor that anyone besides those close to me would care about mine?  I wrote notes and stories down to say thank you to those that helped me get stay alive and get better, then made Beckett, so it was mildly comprehensible.  I had no idea anyone would care about my ‘story’ nor want to hear it, nor that it might help others or myself recover and move on.

 

I hope this catches you (whoever you are, family, friends, readers, or people that are just angry disbelievers of who I am) up to date, and lets you know where this TBI has taken me, shown me and some of what it and everything around it has taught me.  And I hope this answers all your questions on what the books were made for and intended for.

 

Find your Path in Life, enjoy all it gives to you, celebrate all He has given to you….. and give Him thanks.

I know I do, every morning and night….and a lot in between.